Its my anniversay...it's my life!

November 11, 2006

I was 40 years old, but just born. Can it be true? Yes.....I was born again on this day...and today I celebrate in a way in which I never knew was possible. This is not about Religion, it is about a second chance that I was lucky enough to have the courage to do. For this...I am proud.

Today I am two. My body is 42, my life experiences are 42, but my new spirit and soul are two. This day two years ago, I started over. It was the most painful, agonizing thing I have ever done. I broke free of something that was wrong. Plain and simple, it was wrong. I mustered up everything I had and made a life changing detour in my own Journey. I could not have done it alone. People say that you can...perhaps I really may have, but I had lots of help along the way. Some may know that they were instrumental...but most don't. Some may read this and now know...some may not and never know. I feel the need to make a list, it may be imperfect and certainly wont be complete....but my mind is strong again and needs to be grateful.

My Heavenly Father. You never left me, just as you promised. When it was dark, your light shone brightly. I am Blessed.

Mum and Dad. Just those few words say it all. To stop and pick up a lost child...not when they fell off their bike when they were eight...but rather to stop your life at almost 70 and pick up your 40 year old and carry her through the dark. I am Blessed.

Jenn. My baby sister...to step up and let me be the baby. To take the weight, to hold my hand, to understand things that you were oblivious to. I am Blessed.

Cynthia. To be a friend to someone in such need. To extend your own life into mine. Words...they are few, my heart says it all. I am Blessed.

My sons. To trust in me....to trust when it was unbearable. This was a trait that I instilled in you...I did something right. I am Blessed.

Mike. To ask nothing of me. To support what I only dreamed of. To let me know that you would never abandon me. Wow... for this I am Blessed.

My sister friends. So many in number... some knew and some didn't. Some I could tell and others I kept at a distance. For understanding that I could only share with a few, for being there when I was ready. To take me back into your lives when "I" was ready. You all know who you are. For this I am Blessed.

Morgan. For finding each other when it was right. For letting us heal together and continue to heal. For helping us to help 'our' children. To shine brightly. I am Blessed.

My life is forever changed. In my own life change, I know that many others have been changed as well. Some for the better, and some for the worse. I go on with some happy memories, some sad and some that leave painful scars. I hold my head high, my shoulders are proud and my existence is strong. I leave behind a sadness and look forward to making a difference, to not only my life, but the life of many.

“If my mind can conceive it, and my heart can believe it, I know I can achieve it.”